Author Q&A

Stability is something the human spirit needs. To be rooted in something means you have a foundation and are securly planted. This was something I didn't have growing up. HEIR means heal, empower, inspire, and redefine. As I began to heal I became rooted in knowing and loving me no longer searching outside of myself. I learn to take the traumas extract the wisdom and redefine my life.  I could then empower and inspire others to do the same. It is my goal to help others become Rooted HEIR.

 I didn’t start with the intention of writing a book my intention was to heal. I knew that I had to stop running, and get completely honest with myself. I had to allow myself to remember, to feel every emotion that either I couldn’t at the time or had suppressed, and to tell what was true to me. I had to tell myself my own story. Writing became an intracule part of my healing process. I couldn’t help but wish that I had someone or something to shed light and guide me while going through all the difficult moments that life was preparing me for. I began to see how this was so much bigger than just me. It pushed me to go deeper, be more transparent, to be as authentic as I possibly could be so that my readers knew I could feel them, I could see them, and I could hear them, because I was them. If by chance somehow Rooted HEIR made it into their lives I wanted them to be empowered and inspired. To know that they matter, their stories matter, and together we can redefine and heal. 

 The whole process was emotionally hard but the most freeing thing I have ever done. There were countless times I wanted to quit and say forget it but the calling was too great. If I had to choose just one thing, I would say the most difficult part to write about was not about what was done to me but the realizations that came to me when holding up the mirror and looking at myself. It is easy to blame the actions of others for why our behaviors may be a certain way, the hard part is getting completely honest with ourself to see where we need to take responsibility. The cleansing the roots to bear good fruit. I had only wished it didn’t take me over 20 years to start the process. 

Countless times I wanted to quit. I was reminded often internally that this was so much bigger then just me. I had been writing for a while because it was a healing tool for myself before the book even became a thought so I was triggered often. Which caused me to go deeper within myself. I knew that I needed to cleanse the roots even at the expense of potentially making others upset. But, I  also knew my intentions were about healing and helping others not about blaming or causing strife with the people who might be upset. The only thing in life that I can control for certain is me I can't control others. I just had to JKG!

Let me first say healing is unique  to each individual. It is not a one size fits all. I don't encourage everyone to just start going back and recalling all their tramatic events one by one alone. That can cause  even more trauma. Each person has to find what works for them. For me, this is what worked and yes often times it was extremely heavy, so many tears were shed, and so much pain was released. There were times when I had to stop and put it aside. It felt overwhleming some days because there was so much to work through. Little by little I just continue to work through the traumas giving myself grace and reminding myself healing is an everyday journey not a one time event. 

I have to remember that this is still very much about my journey. The most important human relationship I can have is with myself, everything is done internally.The greatest impact has been within me. Just like with all things different people feel different ways about this book. There are many people who support me and are very proud, there are others that are on their own healing journey, and there are some that are still stuck. I choose not to get caught up in the noise or I get off centered. I just have to remember I have to continue to do the internal work that I need to do. My children and I continue to build more intimate bonds, Ryker has been extremely supportive throughout the writing and release of Rooted HEIR, and mother has read the book. This journey continues to unfold...

Absolutely not! My children knew the things I had experienced before there was a book. We have very open and honest conversations. If they can learn from my story or the people in my story then I don't need to hide it from them. This book has opened up doors of communication with my children and I that may not have been opened. For example, my almost 16 year old son asked me, "mom why would you want the world to know about the bad things that happen to you?" I explain to him that if I could take the things that have happened to me and help someone else that is going through what I have gone through it takes something bad and redefines it. I told him I dropped the fancy garment of shame that I had been carrying and freed myself. He understood and smiled. My children know how much they are loved and the see the result of the work that I have been doing. They are very proud of me. 

 Things are not always what they appear to be and we just never know who is dealing with what no matter how it looks on the outside. I truly hope my readers can walk away inspired to continue their healing journey with hope remembering to JKG. We just never know who’s testimony can be someone else’s survival guide.